February 10, 2010

NASCAR,
here we GO!!

My big buddy Remington came up with a GREAT idea. He and I are going to start our own NASCAR racing team!! (No, tall guy, not NASTY CAR - I can't help it if you never vacuum out your car and the inside is covered in dog fuzz!!). So, we are going to get ready and enter the DOGTONA 500 this weekend!

I figured I would have to do the driving, since Remington is really big and muscular and he might not be able to fit into the driver's seat! (That's Remington on the hood of the car, or the bonnet as Ludo might say.) I figure if someone gets in my way, Remington can just come out on the track and pick up their car and move it so I can get around!!

So, look for us this Sunday on your teevees. We'll be in the RJ Racing team car (or maybe the JR Racing Team - we're still in discussion about that), sponsored by Remington's favorite food: Purina Pro Plan. See you in the rear view mirror!!!

February 9, 2010

PUPPY BOWL??

Puppy Bowl, my Aunt Fannie!!
Those puppies just ain't right!

February 8, 2010

Are You Ready For Some
PAWBALL?

What was it with all the people running around chasing a ball yesterday? I did not see a single puppy running after the ball (except on the Puppy Bowl). I think some of these teams need some puppies. I am pretty good about running after a ball, although I don't always bring it back.

Here is my team - the Green Bay Barkers. We're playing the New Orleans Saints Bernards.
So come on peoples, PUPPIES WANT TO PLAY BALL TOO!

February 7, 2010

Don't Even Ask!!

No, I am not holding my ears up like this.
Someone thinks it is funny to do this to me.

Sometimes I think the tall guy has gone crazy.

(From the tall guy: A very special treat!
If you get bored watching the Super Bowl today,
here's something that will take your mind off of football.
As a matter of fact, after you watch it,
you may never be able to think of anything else ever again!)

February 6, 2010

On the other hand...

I know it's hard to believe, but I don't ALWAYS look as handsome as you might think. As a matter of fact, sometimes I look ALMOST not quite as handsome! So, I asked the tall guy to find some of the pictures he took that portray me in a less than flattering light. He reminded me that he has to take like 14000 pictures to get one good one. I told him he needs to talk to this lady, because she takes such beautiful pictures. He said she had more to work with.

I'm still trying to decide if I should be mad at that or not!

February 5, 2010

Water that comes flying through the air
JUST TASTES BETTER!

Hi friends. Jack here. I'm here today to talk to you about
WATER FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.
Does the water in your bowl taste blah?
Should you be drinking more water,
but don't because your water is boring?

Well, let me tell you about
WATER FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.

WATER FLYING THROUGH THE AIR
is the most amazing invention ever!
Not only is it WATER,
but it's AIR as well.

Once you've had
WATER FLYING THROUGH THE AIR,
you'll never go back to your old water again.

Please call us today for your free sample* of
WATER FLYING THROUGH THE AIR!
You'll be glad you did!

*$49.95 shipping and handling
Water not included


= = = =
(From the tall guy: Just a follow-up on Jack's post yesterday.
The bulldog in the picture is actually very friendly. He just thinks
that anything on the ground is his. Jack is very good about sharing things
and wasn't upset that the bulldog was basically claiming dominion
over the water dish (that Jack stole from the drinking area anyway.)

February 4, 2010

You're Kidding, right???

You do know I was playing with that don't you?
I mean, it was over next to all the water dishes
and I picked it up and brought it over here.
I just left it here for a second.

Hello??

February 3, 2010

Hey, there's something wrong with this tomato!!

I don't know who did it, but I would like to THANK whoever told the tall guy about giving me a whole entire APPLE!!

Up to now, I just got the leftover pieces that he didn't want to eat (TG: not EVEN true). So, he cut out the middle of the apple (something about the SPEEDS that aren't good for me) and let me have the good part! So as you can tell from the picture, I was so shocked, I just looked at it for like 6 hours before I could even eat it (TG: not even true AGAIN - I'm going to have to start reading these posts before Jack puts them online. It was more like 6 seconds before he ate the apple!)

I do like these apple things better than the carrot things. I think the red looks better against my fuzz!

So, whoever it was that told him, thank you again! And could you tell him about STEAKS and HAMBURGERS next time?

February 2, 2010

Do I look like a
PUNKINHEAD
to you?

Honestly, what is it with the names? Punkinhead? Really??
Sometimes when we get ready to go outside, the tall guy
will say 'Are you ready to go, Punkinhead?
Not even Pumpkin-head, mind you!
I don't even know what a Punkinhead is.
It is times like those that a full ignore seems to work best.

I already told the story of how I got my real name:
Sundancers Repairman Jack,
but just in case you missed it, I was named after a
really cool guy in a book
who goes around and helps people.
I don't remember him ever ONCE
being called Punkinhead!

So, how did you get YOUR name?

February 1, 2010

MMMMMMMMMMUD!

I have a confession to make.

I like mud.

However, someone that I share a home with
is not so crazy about my love of mud.

All I can say is:

THE BATH WAS WORTH IT!!

---
Oh, and I think I've seen this guy at the puppy park!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1237727/Is-Giant-George-worlds-tallest-dog-The-7ft-long-blue-great-dane-claim-title.html

Januar 31, 2010

Blogging is hard work!!

January 30, 2010

A Revolutionary Announcement!!!

Jack, in conjunction with Apple and Steve Jobs,
would like to announce the all-new, all magnificent

iPawd

Starting at only 300 cookies!

The best way to experience all your puppy blogs,
peemail, kitty photos, and embarrassing videos
of your peoples doing silly things. Paws down.

Imagine being able to paw through
the your puppy's website, leave a peemail, wag your tail
through millions of photos of your furiends, or watch a movie about me, Jack!.
All on a big, beautiful, Multi-Lick screen. With just
the touch of a paw (or nose).

And unlike the other product
(with a similar name),
the iPawd is available TODAY!
Place your order now!
Click HERE to order.

January 29, 2010

The tall guy said he had read too many books about dogs where the dog decides he wants to 'go live on a farm' somewhere at the end of the book, like Marley and Me. So, he said he wants to write a book about a puppy where everyone is still alive at the end of the book! I told him that sounded like a good idea to me.

I told him to make sure that the main character was a young handsome puppy who was always happy, liked to play, eat plastic bottles, dig holes and wag his tail a lot. He said he didn't know any puppies like that, but he did know one that needed to listen more and stop bothering him while he was trying to watch House. I told him with that attitude he would never get finished writing a book and just to make sure that I wasn't in it or else I would contact my attorney for defamation of character. He said just for that, he would include a character named Jack but that it would be a CAT! Can you believe that? A cat named Jack.

It would be a complete work of fiction, obviously!

January 28, 2010

We join our intrepid Indiana Jack as he looks for
the 'Lost Treasure of the Puppy Park Pit'!

Be careful!! It might cave in on you!!

We must find the treasure before the evil 'Legion of Squirrels' finds it!

I'll dig until my paws fall off if I have to!
No hole will be too deep for me to crawl into!

Will Indiana Jack find the lost treasure?
Will he escape from the collapsing sand pit of death?
Will he be able to keep blogging?

???

(Note from the tall guy: At the park today, Jack started digging furiously. He normally digs, but today it was like he was on a mission. He kept going and going. Then, about a foot down (deeper than in the 3rd picture), he finally found what he was looking for. It was a small plastic toy shovel like you would find children using at the beach. So, somehow, Jack 'knew' that the shovel was buried that deep in the dirt. I don't think it had any smell, but then again, I'm not a dog! I tried to get a picture when it found it, but I only had my iPhone and by the time I got ready to take the picture, he had discarded the shovel and was ready to move on to his next adventure!)

January 27, 2010

The Electricity Blanket

The tall guy has a warm heart but very cold feet. Especially at night. I'm talking icebergs. I'm talking 'The Titanic had better not come by his bedroom when he's asleep' cold. So, he bought this wonderful invention called the electricity blanket.

I do not get to sleep on the electricity blanket because I would then be sleeping on his feet and he could not run the marathon in his dreams like he does every night! You have to plug the electricity blanket into the holes in the walls so it can get warm. When I was a puppy, I would have chewed on all the wires in the electricity blanket, but now that I am older, I know that you do not chew on the wires or you will get, let's see, how does the tall guy put it, 'If you chew on the wires, you will get sparks flying out of your butt!'. I prefer my butt to be spark-free thank you.

However, as you can see above, when the tall guy gets out of bed, I get to lay on the electricity blanket. It is nice and toasty and is a very nice place to be for your mid-morning 'before your 3rd walk of the day pre-lunchtime snack' nap.

So, ask your peoples to get you an electricity blanket as well. But don't eat the wires.

January 26, 2010

Is that bubble gum?

Can I have some?
Just a little bit?

Oh come on, you won't even miss it.
I like to blow bubbles!

JUST ONE LITTLE BIT!!!
Enough for one bubble!

(Heh, heh, heh!!)

January 25, 2010

THE NATIONAL PERSPIRER
Sticking our nose in...

Boy, the things you find out when you read the puppy blogs.

SCANDALOUS!!! STEAMY!!! SHOCKING!!!

Too bad there's none of that.

But you can find out some pretty interesting secrets, like:

• Which puppy has joined a
gang and has been seen
headed toward South Florida
partying all the way?

• Which puppy has developed a
split personality? What a CAT-astrophe!!

• Which puppy would
like to be the GRRRR-eater
at Home Depot?

• Which puppy's mom
has relatives who
think it's ok to go swimming
almost COMPLETELY NAKED?

and finally,
• Which honorary puppy of the feline persuasion
INSISTS on
completely privacy when
she's SHARING THE BATHROOM
WITH A MAN?

January 24, 2010

If a squirrel can do it,
so can I!

Let's see, if I just put one foot here and then put my other foot here and then push with my tail...

What is so important that I tried to climb a tree?


Is it an acorn?


Is it a t-bone steak?


Is it a new car?


No, it's a

Stick, stick,
I must get the stick.
Jump up into the air,
Just to get the stick.
Up and down and back again,
Just to get the stick.
All this jumping,
up and down,
I hope you don't get sick!

Hmmm, I wonder how that stick got up there in the first place?
I thought I saw it lying on the ground when we got here, and then the tall guy walked by...
Hmmm, I wonder if it was a hurricane that blew it up into the tree?
Or maybe a big bird came by and picked it up to build its nest.
Or maybe the tall guy put it up there because he got tired of me picking it up
and chewing on it.

I guess it's just a mystery!
Scooby Doo, where are you?

January 23, 2010

I can not believe my eyeballs!

We (the tall guy and I) were at home yesterday, having a very nice calm relaxing afternoon, listening to some music on the computer (music is like television but without pictures), when all of a sudden, the tall guy starts jumping around and screaming like he had been bitten on the butt by one of those bugs!

I jumped up off the couch to see if I could find the bug and pull it off of him, but, upon inspection, he was BUG-LESS!

"What's wrong?", I asked.

"Huh?", he replied.

"Why are you jumping and screaming? Are you in horrible agonizing pain?"

"No", he replied. "I'm singing!"

"Why are you shaking like you're having a fit?"

"HA!", he laughed. "I'm dancing!"

"What is this singing and dancing?", I asked, "and why is it causing you so much pain?"

"I'm not in pain - I'm just happy. You know, like when we chase the ball and you shake your butt because you get so excited!"

"First", I replied, "I do not SHAKE MY BUTT when I get excited. I wag my tail. It's two completely different parts of my body. And two, you're not very good at it whatever it is."

So....

Please send any extra cookies you have this week to me. It doesn't look like I'll be getting very many treats this week. And send pillows. And gently used toys. And maybe even water, unless I can figure out how to work the faucet.

Oh, and when your peoples start to sing and dance, tell them they are great. American Idol great (not the ones they show when they are making fun of people, but 'You're going to Hollywood' great). Just a bit of advice. You can thank me later!

(From the tall guy: Just in case I didn't get around to your blog, I want to thank everyone for their kind advice yesterday! Sometimes it's good to be able to talk to your friends, even if you've never met them before!)

January 22, 2010

I don't think that is

biologically possible!

You know how sometimes you go to the grocery store and someone just keeps following you around and jumping up on your back and putting stuff in your cart and just won't leave you alone? Well, something similar happened to me at the puppy park yesterday.

There are two big dogs (let's just call them 'NOODLES' and not those little miniature NOODLES, I'm talking the regular-sized ones) who will not leave me alone when I go to the puppy park if they are there. They are all the time climbing on me and jumping on me, even when I'm trying to play with another puppy or get a drink of water. And I don't mean just for a minute or two. I'm talking CONSTANTLY. It's like I'm covered in some sort of NOODLE-attracting scent that just drives them crazy.

The first time it happened, the tall guy just watched for about 5 minutes to see what I would do and then looked to see if the owner of the NOODLES was going to do anything. I mean I couldn't even chase the frisbee without one of them coming and climbing up on me. After the tall guy realized the other guy wasn't going to do anything, we left the park.

The second time it happened, we just got to the park and they started again. The other guy still didn't do anything, so after about 5 minutes, we left again. I didn't even get to try to play with any of the other puppies.

WELL (and I think you can see where this is going), we went back yesterday and BOOM - I'm a NOODLE magnet. So after a few minutes, the tall guy asked the other guy if he would do something about his dogs pestering me. You would have thought he asked the other guy to kick his dog in the head! The other guy started yelling and cussing (he said the tall guy's mother was a female dog) and said that he wasn't going to do anything because they were just dogs and that's what dogs do. The other guy asked the tall guy what did he want him to do. The tall guy said the other guy could control his dogs or leave. OH MY! The other guy said he wasn't going to do anything and that the TALL GUY could leave. TG explained that he had already left twice and that if he wouldn't hold his dogs that the tall guy would. Finally, the tall guy told the man that he did not need to yell and cuss at him. So the other guy pouted around for a few more minutes and then left. But you could tell he was not a happy camper!

Now, the tall guy understands that some dogs like to play 'King of the Mounting' with other dogs and that is something that I just need to take care of myself (usually, I just sit down until they decide to stop) and then we can play again. But this is a little different in that the NOODLES never stop, even if I go to the other end of the park. Someone said that I would learn to turn around and get mad at the dogs when they do that, but the tall guy is glad that I'm not the kind of puppy who will do that.

So, what have we learned from this? 1) Sometimes it doesn't do any good to ask someone to be responsible (but sometimes it does). 2) Some peoples don't think their dogs are the problem. 3) If someone does start yelling at you, don't yell back. It just makes them look silly, AND 4) It does no good to argue with a drunk, because the drunk doesn't care and it just makes you madder (we didn't learn this at the park - but the tall guy told me to put it in anyway!)

(From the tall guy: I told Jack he was writing too much, but he's still a little perturbed about the whole situation. It's no exaggeration - the other dogs simply will not stop humping him. It's not sexual - it's obviously a domination thing, but it is so bad that Jack can only try to run away from them when we're at the park. So I will ask you: What would you have done in that situation?)