What is up withIs there a law that says that every puppy in the world has to have a picture with this hat? If so, where do I go to get it repealed? Or amended?
this consarned hat?
this consarned hat?
I propose this new law:
H. RES. Puppy1: No More Christmas Hats on Puppies/Cats/Horses/Frogs or Fish Act.
Sponsor: Jack [AZ-1] (introduced 12/21/2009) Cosponsors: All the other dogs and cats in the world
Committees: House Pet Committee
Latest Major Action: Proposed to be passed in time for all the moms and dads to come up with some other idea for next Christmas
Christmas hat -- For purposes of this law, 'Christmas hat' shall be defined as 'a silly red hat with white fuzz around the bottom and a cotton ball on top' OR ANY OTHER FESTIVE HOLIDAY head covering.
SECTION 1: PURPOSE
It is the purpose of this law to FORBID all moms and dads (along with any human childrens they may have produced/found at the baby pound OR relatives/friends/neighbors who drop by unannounced during the holidays) from henceforth putting the Christmas hat on/near/at/by/close to/in conjunction with/along side of OR in the vicinity of their puppy's head (or in some cases, their puppy's butt (You know who I'm talking about!!!))
SECTION 2: PENALTY
If anyone is found guilty, by means of photographic proof on any blog, newsletter, or Christmas card of violating the purpose of this act, that person (or persons) shall be forced to wear said Christmas hat to somewhere really embarrassing - like to the grocery store on July 25 or to the doctor's office during their next physical when the doctor tells you to get undressed and you have to say 'I can't take off my festive Christmas hat because it's really cold in here and your stethoscope frightens me!'.
SECTION 3: ADDENDUM
This law does NOT apply to hats, such as John Deere hats or orange hunting hats or hats showing support for your favorite sporting team. For an appropriate use of hats on puppies, please see the following:
So there you have it. Please contact your member of Congress to urge quick passage of this new law. Millions of future Christmas traditions are at stake!