September 2, 2009

Things I Have Learned:
Lessons for young puppies

Lesson 1:
The ball

Since I have become 1 years old, I have decided that I need to share my many year of wisdom with all the young puppies. Today we are going to learn how to play ball with your peoples. I like to do it because it is very easy and seems to make the tall guy very happy.

Step 1: Go to the park where you can run really far. It will help if there is no one there to yell at the tall guy for not having you on a string (when the sign clearly says 'All puppies must be on a string!'. The sign also says that it is FINE for me not to be on a string, so I wish the sign would make up its mind!) Then, you need to sit and wait patiently until the tall guy decides to throw the ball.

Step 2: As soon as he throws the ball, RUN RUN RUN. Run very fast so you can catch the ball. If you run fast enough, you will eventually catch up with it and the tall guy will say 'VERY GOOD BOY!'. But watch him carefully, because sometimes he pretends to throw the ball but he actually doesn't. Then you will look like a fool if you start to run and he has the ball in his hand.

Step 3: After you get the ball, RUN RUN RUN, very fast back to the tall guy. For some reason, he thinks you should bring it all the way back to where he is standing!

Throw, run...

Catch, run back...

Throw, run...
Hey wait a minute. I'm doing all the work here!

So, what you need to do is this. After the tall guy has thrown the ball about a lot of times, run after it like you are going to get it and bring it back. THEN, when you are really far away from the tall guy, you can lie down and start eating the ball! Make sure you are as far away from the tall guy as possible, so he will have to walk all the way to where you are to get the ball. Then, he will figure out that you are tired of playing ball, so he will take you to the bagel store for a delicious bagel!

When you are on the way to your car, you may see a chicken like this. Do not chase the chicken. It is too fast for you and you might end up falling off a cliff!

So there you have our first lesson in how to play ball with your peoples. Tune in next time for our lesson on how to look pitiful so the tall guy will give you some of whatever he is eating!