RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
I tried to warn you about eating turkey on Thanksgiving. Now look at what has happened. They have mutated into GIANT HAT WEARING TURKEYS that will eat your children and your husband and have their own teevee show!!!
They will seek revenge. And pie. Probably pumpkin with a little dollop of whipped cream on top.
The only way to stop them is to give all your leftover turkey that is hiding in your fridge to your puppies. Don't even keep any for sandwiches which you were planning on eating during the football game. All of it. MUST BE EATEN!!! Only puppies have the super-strength stomach needed to foil their evil plans.
And a little pie wouldn't hurt either.