Monday, February 27, 2012

February 27, 2012

Today is a SPECIAL day!

One year ago today, the first copy of my book
Jack:  A book about a dog 
where the dog doesn't die at the end
was sold on Amazon.
It is still for sale and has been doing really well!

So, the tall guy said I could have a contest.

Here's what I'm giving away:

Someone is gonna win all this loot:
Season 1 DVD Downton Abbey
Season 2 DVD Downton Abbey
The World of Downton Abbey Hardcover Book
The Official Soundtrack CD

If you haven't watched Downton Abbey,
you missed a really good show.
There was even a story about a DOG.

So, how do you win?
Send 4 cookies to me and...
I can't ask for cookies?
The tall guy says I can't ask for cookies.
How about pie?
No pie either.

OK, here's what you have to do.

Since everyone likes to laugh,
leave your BEST joke in the comments below.
I'll have the tall guy collect all the jokes
that are submitted by Wednesday
and then we can all vote on
which one is your favorite.

If you don't want the prize,
leave a joke anyway! :)



  1. Wooohooo I will be back after I find a really good one to enter. OMD we had been away for a while and didn't realize that you wrote a book. You are so coooool. Mommy is going to Amazon to get one, cause its cool that we like know you and you have a book.

    We will be back with a joke

    Loveys Sasha

  2. congrats on your first contest! joke as yet from me..going to have to come up with a good one!!

  3. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this?"

  4. A skeleton walks into the bar and asks for a pint of beer and a mop.

  5. Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
    His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!"

    thats my entry, I hope you like it.

    Loveys Sasha

  6. I will have to try to find my best joke....I told a few on Saturday and they were a big hit....your book is so AWESOME! It should be in everyone's library....I can't believe it's been a year already....and what is Beth doing....still hasn't written one....I told you she was slow....ha ha!

  7. A year already??? Wow! I will have to think of a joke and come back later.
    Lovies, Miss Mindy


    "What is the difference between a labradork and a mailbox?"

    "Huh? You don't know? No wonder you never get any mail."

    Oh har har har.


  9. Morning Jack
    Congrats on the year anniversary of your first book being sold on Amazon!!
    How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Persian: what is a lightbulb
    Somali: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worrying about a burned out lightbulb.
    Norwegian Forest Cat: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to date, too
    Cornish Rex: Hey guys, I've found the switch
    Sphynx (hairless): Turn it back on again I'm cold
    Exotic: Let the AOV(any other variety) do it. You can feed me while he's busy
    Maine Coon:(Labrador of the feline world) Oh Me me. Pleeease let me change the bulb. Can I, hug, Can I?

    ANSWER: Lightbulb never gets changed. Cats are too busy discussing the chore.

    NO we don't expect to win a thing with this but we thought TG would enjoy poking fun at felines. Mom said Downton Abbey was one of the best tv programs she has seen in years.

    Hugs Madi and Mom

  10. Woof! Woof! Oh that was a year ago WOW! Golden Congrats again ... LOVE your book. Our friend talks about that ABBEY show. Mom needs coffee so no joke for us ... Golden Thanks for your email. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

  11. Congratulations! Hard to imagine it's been a year!
    That's great news that "Jack" is doing so well!

    We loved Downton Abbey, going through withdrawls until it returns!!
    I still think you would be great on there, Jack, at the castle!!
    But then it's very cold and dreary and not sunny like Arizona!

  12. LOL - Mom only knows very bad jokes! Like "Why are Dalmatians terrible at hide and seek? They are always spotted!"... See what we mean?


  13. With a tip of the hat to DT Abbey (I've heard it's good, but have never seen it). Your book - which of course is delightful, is an inspiration for my own writing ambitions.

    Q. Why did the Siamese twins move to London?

    A: The other one wanted to drive.

  14. What did the fish say when he swam into the cement wall??


    BOLBOLBOL!! Congrats, Jack. We're very proud of you!!

    -Bart and Ruby

  15. Hey Jack! Congrats on your 1 year anniversary! My lab who could pass as your twin, Clyde S Dale, and I loved your book, and your antics. Here's our joke, it's a people joke, hope that's OK.
    Kisses and belly rubs-

    Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

    The house was very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mother so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

    Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and patted him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

    The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

    Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place........smack him again!'

  16. Ok, I got one....This priest went into a .... what? I can't.... Sorry -- Beth says not that one....I'll keep thinking....

  17. Why are dalmations no good at "Hide and Seek?"
    -----they are always spotted.....
    Aaaaahhhhh.... BOL
    Benny & Lily

  18. you two are so much fun jack!
    i am a downton abbey addict so already own all that stuff. but i love the pure energy of this post!!! you're the greatest!
    tammy j

  19. Ok Jack this one is funny P.s my human (11 yrs old) loved da book!!! What happened when the butcher fell backwards into the meat grinder?? He got a litte behind in his work!!! (BOL) U rock Jack and TG

  20. okay here is our joke ...Happee Annyversary tooo.

    There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

    A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

    The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

    aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh BOL
    Benny & Lily

  21. LOVED the book, congrats on the anniversary. No need to win the prize, just sharing a (hmmm.... perhaps lame?....) joke:

    So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"


  22. Ok I heard this one from a Supreme Court Judge who was an immigrant from Poland.
    Why do Polish dogs have flat faces?????

    They chase parked cars..........HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    ;-) I <3 u Jack, you make me laugh, and my very uptight 29 year old attorney daughter who is very stressed told me about your blog...

  23. Congrats on your book anniversary! (and sales!)
    Our pawrents are hooked on "Downtown Abbey" - that's what dad calls it! Can hardly wait for next season!

    Here's our joke- a little long, but worth it!

    A burgler breaks into a house. He's creeping around in the dark and he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you" ... he looks around & doesn't see anyone, so he continues to rob the house.

    Again he hears "Jesus is watching you". He flips on a light switch and sees a parrot on a perch. "Did you say that?" he asks the parrot.

    "Yes, I'm Moses" the bird replies.

    The burgler scoffs and says "Who in the world would name a parrot 'Moses'?"

    The parrot starts to laugh, and replies "The same people that named their Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

    Ha-roo roo roo!
    Jack a-roo & Miss Moo

    PS - FABULOUS pic of woo, Jack!

  24. we won one of your books and it is GREAT!! everyone should have one. We will have to find a good joke and we will be back!

    jazzi and addy

  25. Has it already been a year since your book? My how time flies when you're having fun (aka retired)!

    Buddy's favorite joke:

    How can you prove that a dog is truly a man's best friend?

    Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

  26. I've been diagnosed as a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac because I lie awake and night wondering if there's a dog.

  27. A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

  28. I don't like tea, tea is for mugs.

    So simple, so amusing!

  29. some of the jokes are really funny. haha
    keep them coming!

  30. Congrats on one year! Man, how time flies!

    Downton Abby?? My person has never seen it! And she watches the big box to relax, so that is an amazing statement for me to make!!

    OK, here is my Favorite joke of all times!!!

    Q: What do you a call a boomerang that doesn't return like it is supposed to?

    A: A STICK!!!