Monday, March 7, 2011

March 7, 2011

How To Become a
World Famous Authorist
by Jack

1) Write a book. Or have someone write it for you. You can just make up stuff. It's ok. Unless you're writing about someone who lives with you. Because then if you just make up stuff about them, they will erase your computer and you will lose ALL your stuff, even the stuff that is not made up.

2) Decide if you are going to do a book that peoples can hold in their hands or a book that peoples can hold in their ebook reader in their hands. If you want to write a book that is just going to be read by people when they are taking their baths, you probably want to write a paper book, because if they drop the paper book in the bathtub, it won't cost them $500.00.

The good thing is that you don't have to decide. You can do BOTH kinds of books. You can even do a coloring book, but people might get a little tired filling in all the letters in the words in the book just so they can read it.

3) Last but not least (for today), decide if you want to have pictures in your book. If you are very handsome, it is a little easier to decide. You may have noticed that my book has like 18 million pictures in it. But, having pictures in the book makes it harder when you go to actually write the book, especially when you want to get it printed. So, you may decide that you are only a little bit handsome, and that will let you use fewer pictures. Some books don't have ANY pictures in them. I will just let that speak for itself!

So to conclude today's lesson:
• Decide if you want to write a book or not.
• Decide if you want to write a paper book or an ebook or both.
• Decide if you are good looking.

We'll have more about the actual writing next time.

And don't forget about the contest!

The tall guy says a sincere 'Thank You'
for all the nice comments about the book.

He says that everyone has been exceedingly kind.
And I, Jack, say 'Thank You' too.
It puts him in a good mood and I get more cookies!


Jack: A book about a dog
where the dog doesn't die at the end

Click HERE for the Amazon Kindle version.

Click HERE for the PDF version.

Click HERE for the ePub iPad version.


  1. I think my book should be all pictures and no words. I'm that good looking... well, you've seen my pics.

  2. I'm gonna have my own book soon, I think. I think I would like my book to have TONS of pictures of me & ME ONLY! HEE

    Hoomie Melissa has been hogging the computer WAY too much so I haven't gotten the chance to read it. I will do it today.

  3. Well... I am not so sure I'd write a book. My life is not interesting enough for that! Hmmm....
    Happy Monday, Jack and TG!
    Kisses and hugs

  4. The secret of life . More cookies !

  5. Very useful information. The words part is most difficult for sure, but one can never have enough photos.


  6. I think your list is missing something.

    How about: Decide if you want a cookie or two cookies?

  7. Morning Jack!!
    Well I can answer question 3 for you w/o even thinking.

    Hugs Madi

  8. How did you know my momma's most favorite place to read is da bathtub, and that is EXACTLY why her hasn't bought da EReader yet?!? (well, that and da whole 500 dollar part....since her is cheap)

  9. You can write a pretty good book with only 3 words: Come, Look, See
    Leading characters: Sue, Dick, Pepper the Dog

    It's not easy being so handsome Jack, but somebody's gotta do it, so it might as well be YOU!!!


  10. Woof! Woof! Golden Thanks for your advise ... Mmmm I just don't want to overwhelm my readers with my Sweet Sugary Photos. We LOVE TG's "witticism" (is this a word?) Anywhow would like to hire him so hope his charges is as affordable you book publisher. Looking forward to get a hard copy of your book. I KNOW ... I'm Going to WIN your giveaway. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

  11. Like the advice AND the 2 cookie comment. Gotta keep TG happy. Jack you are one handsome Labradude but I feel like I am the most handsome Schnoodle (Maybe it's a tie between me and Bailey of the 4B's) heehee

  12. Jack, we're lovin' the pictures AND the words. Mom's goin' slow, though cuz she's reading two books at the same time, and grading papers, too. We don't get that, because we're all housebroken...

  13. Good advice, my friend. Being the book is about you -- YOU should be in charge of all the treats in the house!

  14. I think Tank wants woo to paw the words fur his book!


  15. Very good tips, Jack. Now, one more: 4) sit down and actually write your book. I'm half-way there!

  16. Thank you for the tips, Jack! But how do you write a book with lots of pictures and not break the bank account?

    We've had several people tell us we should write a book, but have been told it is astronomical (think lots of treats!) and expensive!
    However, Madi's Mom told me you guys did it reasonably.
    What's you secret?

    BTW I love books where "the dog doesn't die"! :)
    Kathy from