December 31, 2010

SNAIL!!!

It is so cold today, I decided just to stay inside and sleep!

We finally got some wet stuff.
It was both snow and hail so I'm gonna call it SNAIL!
There's a bunch of snow up on the mountains,
but it snowed SO much,
they had to close the road up to where we go to play.
So we can't go up there yet!
Hopefully next week.
I'll make sure runny-nose guy
takes his camera with him this time!

PS: He said he tried to get a picture with his phone
while he was driving,
but the guy behind him was not at all appreciative
of the winter panorama
and pointed at him.
With his middle finger.

But here's the picture he got anyway:

December 30, 2010

Finally!

I finally talked the tall guy into taking me back to the puppy park since we haven't been in a couple of weeks (something about him having near-pneumonia, which I told him wasn't even a medical condition). So after he blowed his nose for about 3 hours this morning, we got in the car and went.

You might think that this picture shows me playing at the puppy park, but it's not true. Someone (the guy with the runny nose) forgot to bring his camera, so this is a picture of me at the local park the other day.

If he HAD brought the camera, this would be a picture of me playing catch with the Fribsee. I even caught it in the air FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. That would've been a really cool picture!


If he had brought his camera, here you would see me playing with one of the really cool puppies. She could run really fast and this would have been a picture of me jumping all the way over her when she suddenly stopped. It would have been a great picture!


And finally, here would be a picture of me playing in the water at the park and then rolling around in the dirt. Boy, was I a mess. It was really funny. You would have laughed for the rest of the day, let me tell you!



By the way, I hope that none of your peoples did not get 'The Big Bang Theory' Season 1, 2 AND 3 DVDs for Christmas or you won't ever get to go anywhere again. Just saying.

December 29, 2010

I'm Bored!!

May I please have some of my Christmas toys that you took away and put up on top of the refrigerator so I wouldn't tear them up the day that I got them? I promise I'll be very very gentle with them and not tear off any of their faces!

Maybe just an eye.

Or an ear. Just one ear.

Please!!!!!!

December 28, 2010

Well, they were fun
while they lasted.

You might remember the Santa (from a few days ago).

We had to say goodbye to him pretty quickly.

So with that sentiment in mind, let's also say goodbye to

Ropey-Bally thing:

Purpley Kongy thing:

Redy Kongy thing:

Yep, 4 toys gone in one day! I have a tendency to go through some toys pretty fast. Primarily the ones the tall guy gives me to play with when he's working on the computer. I think this should be a lesson to all the peoples. Toys last longer when there's two playing with them!

PS - Yesterday was my 800th blog post thing on here. Well, actually the tall guy was helping me some when I first got here, but then I got the hang of it! The tall guy said there was going to be something called a 'nouncement' on New Year's Day. If I find out what it is, I'll let you know just as soon as I do!

December 27, 2010

Stuff I Got For Christmas

I got a ball.

And the box it came it.

I got a... uh... a...
Well, whatever it was,
it was in this really neat box!

Here's another cool box.
I think it had something for the tall guy in it.
Who knows?

But it's a really nice box!!
The tall guy said to remind you
that it's can stand for it IS or it WAS.

PS: Next year, I think I'll just ask for the boxes.

December 26, 2010

Santa Came To Visit!

Wait!! What is this?

Hey, look. It's my very own Santa Claus!!

Two Minutes Later...

Well, how was I supposed to know you shouldn't
tear off Santa's face?
No one ever tells me anything around here!

Rest in Pieces Santa.

December 25, 2010

Our regular blogging will resume after I open up all my loot!

The tall guy and I hope you have a GREAT Christmas Day!

December 24, 2010

How NOT to take
your Christmas Pictures
by Jack

I know that a lot of your peoples will take a bunch of pictures of you tomorrow because they get all excited when you tear up papers and boxes and throw stuff around because it is Christmas.

Sure, try it any other day of the year and see what you get! Nothing but heartache and grief!! And no cookies!! Especially if you do it because they left you at home while they went to get hamburgers and Pepsies, and didn't even bring you back a pickle or anything and then they find it when they come home and then scream when they walk into the bedroom and find the papers all over.

But, since they seem to enjoy watching you do it one day each year, make the best of it. Make a big mess. Put your head down in the box and get it stuck. They especially love this one. When they give you a toy, act like it's the best toy you have ever seen. But, when they give you a bag full of something to eat, say thank you and move on, because they are going to take that food away from you about as quick as they can and put it up in the cabinet where you MIGHT get to see it when they are looking for a glass for their chocolate milk. But I digress. We're talking about pictures.

First of all, none of this:

Nobody needs to see that. Even if yours DOES look like a heart. (Well, maybe it's ok if it looks like a heart!!)

Next, look at how you are sitting:

Do you think your friends on Facebook want to see you all splayed out like that?

Next, don't move when they are taking your picture. Don't move ANYTHING:

Just look at that. It looks like I got the Vibrating Teeths!!

And lastly, but most importantly, do not be eating no lemons before they take your picture because then your mouth will do this:

and I don't care how cute you are, you will not get on no Animal Planet teevee show with half of your lips sucked into your head!

So, there you have it. A few tips from your friend Jack. Now go to bed. It's almost Christmas.

PS: And remember to comb your hair when you wake up. You don't want to end up with the bedhead in all your pictures.

December 23, 2010

A Package??
For ME?????

I was just laying around, minding my own business, when the tall guy walked into the room.
"You've got a package!", he said.

"For ME? Now who would send a package to little old pea-pickin' me?"


"Has this been approved by the TSA?", I asked.
"You know how sneaky some peoples can be!"

Well, the tall guy told me that it was ok, so I started to open it.

But then he took it away and opened it with the scissor sisters, because he said he didn't know what was in it and he said it would be nice to open at least ONE package in his lifetime before I totally destroyed the stuff inside!

So, I stuck my nose down in it and smelled a wonderful remember!!! These were the treats I used to get when we went to school. I got a LOT of them when we were there, mainly to shut me up.

You may be wondering about the messy address on the front of the package. I'm pretty sure the person who sent it can write better than that, but since I don't know how to write, maybe that's how peoples have to put down your name to make sure you get the package!

Treat Boy!!

And who was so nice to send me stuff? Well if you can't tell from the letter, it was from Zack, Sassy and Buddy (and I have a feeling Ms. ~K was in on it too!) over at Dog Daze. Now wasn't that extra-special nice!!! I was so happy, I decided to send them some telepathic cookies just to say

December 22, 2010

My Letter to Santa*

* I kinda borrowed some of the words from a letter I found in the drawer next to where the tall guy sleeps.

December 21, 2010

All I Want...

All I want for Christmas this year is underwears and socks.

At least that's what I'm told that I'll be getting, since I've kinda destroyed so many of them that might belong to someone else!

So if you see a dog outside wandering around in his drawers with 4 holey socks on after Saturday - make sure you say 'Hello'. That's probably me.

December 20, 2010

Names

You probably can't tell from the picture,
but NONE of these presents has my name on it.

OH NO!!!

DOES THIS MEAN???????

December 19, 2010

Hey, there's something fishy here!!

You know how they tell you that you have to be good and everything because Santa the Claus is coming next week to bring you toys and stuffs. Well, if that's the case....

HOW COME THERE'S ALREADY
A BUNCH OF PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE?

I mean, who brought those?
Aliens?
Magical Christmas Elves?
Puddles???

I'm gonna have to do some snoopying!

December 18, 2010

My Annual
'Christmas Expression of Joy!!'

Me, before we went to the vet

Well, it's that time again.
Time for the Annual Christmas 'Expression of Joy'.
(This happened about a year ago, if I recall!)

Evidently, my drain pipes got clogged up again,
so I had to go see the doctor
and get it taken care of.

I will never look at a Rotor-Rooter commercial
on tv again the same way!

Actually, it's not too bad.
It only took about a minute and I got to say hello
to all of the nice people at the doctor's office.
They asked the tall guy if he wanted to stay in the room
while I was...
uh, how can I put this gently,
while I was doing my interpretive dance
but he said, no thank you.
But he brought them some cookies afterward.
I think that's the LEAST they deserved!

It looks like this may become an annual event.
I'll see if we can get video next time!

December 17, 2010

Why I Am Not Allowed
To Have No Bones
by Jack

I am not allowed to have no bones because they tend to break into pieces when I chew on them. And then the tall guy gets worried that I will swallow the pieces and have to go to the doctor and have to be de-boned!

December 16, 2010

An Early Christmas

Christmas has come early this year.
Look what I got.

Yep, that's right. A honkin' big disgusting bone!
I don't get a lot of bones as the tall guy
thinks I will break them and THEN try to eat them.

Yeah, I see you looking at my bone.
Don't make me have to slap you!

I think I have some gristle caught in my teeths.
Do you have any floss?

And now,
a bone haiku:

Look at my big bone.
It is so meaty and good.
I shall chew it all.

ICHIBONE!!

December 15, 2010

It's A-MAYZIE-ING!!

Boy did I rack up. Mayzie got my name in Jazzi's present exchange and I got a huge box. I just knew it was going to be some good stuffs inside!

Here I am being ever so gentle and trying to open the package. Unfortunately, the tall guy thinks that scissors work better on packages, so he decided to open it himself. Note to me: Remind tall guy that is it illegal to open other people's mail!

I thought I would pull a Madi and see if I could fit into the box.
Note to me: I can not fit into a box.

As I surmised, there was all sorts of stuff in there: balls, and foods, and cookies and even this thing:

Unfortunately, I'm more of an Autumn, so the pink ears had to go.

The tall guy thought it was quite funny when I was trying to get into the box to get all the stuff out. He didn't think it was so funny when I threw the box at him and hit him on the head. Wait, maybe I just imagined that part.

You can tell I was going for the cookie!!

So thank you Mayzie for my wonderful surprise.
You are one very thoughtful pup!
Everything was so good, maybe the tall guy will get the hint
when he goes shopping for my Christmas presentS.
Note to tall guy: Please note the 'S' on the end there.
Thank you!

December 14, 2010

Someone has stole my face!

Can you believe this? I got a Christmas card in the mail and I opened it up and what did I see? Someone has stole my face and put it on a Christmas card and is making a fortune. Even the tall guy said it looked like me. He thought the person who had sent the card took a picture of me and made it into a Christmas card, but nope. This was a very expensive store-bought card!! I bet it must have cost at least $800.00!

So, be on the lookout for someone who is going around and stealing the faces of all the good looking puppies and putting them on Christmas cards. I'm pretty sure that stealing your face is a crime (punishable by no less than 40 years hard labor and a fine of no less than $14,000,000.00).

December 13, 2010

PREPARED TO BE BEDAZZLED!!!

Watch as the tall guy FLOATS across the floor while we play tug-of-war with a decidedly unhappy Mr. Rabbit!

How does he do it?

You will be amazed!

You will be astounded!!

You won't believe your eyes!!!

You will be bored if I keep going on, so I'll stop...

December 12, 2010

Diggin' with Dakota!

No not diggin' IN Dakota.
That would be a long ways away.
This is my friend named Dakota.
She is a Khyra dog.
We were digging together out at the park.
Not for anything.
We were just digging.
That's the way we hang.

But wait!!!
Do you want to see something cool.
Look at her eyeballs!!

That's right!
She has 3 eyes.
No wait. I'm just kidding.
She's got 2 colors.
Isn't that cool?
I wonder if they change color
like the lights on the Christmas tree.

December 11, 2010

Toys by Jacques!

The Amazing Rabbit with No Face!!

I think the rabbit with no face will be a hit with all your children this Christmas season. Plus I'll throw in all the stuffing that used to be inside at NO EXTRA CHARGE!!

Order yours today! Supplies are limited to one (because the tall guy says I ain't getting no more rabbits to tear off their faces).

So this is sorta kinda like a one-of-a-kind. Just think, in 100 years your grandchildren could take it to the Antiques Roadshow and it could be worth bajillions of dollars (or they could be one of the people who comes on at the end of the show when the credits are rolling. Who knows??).