Friday, December 24, 2010

December 24, 2010

How NOT to take
your Christmas Pictures
by Jack

I know that a lot of your peoples will take a bunch of pictures of you tomorrow because they get all excited when you tear up papers and boxes and throw stuff around because it is Christmas.

Sure, try it any other day of the year and see what you get! Nothing but heartache and grief!! And no cookies!! Especially if you do it because they left you at home while they went to get hamburgers and Pepsies, and didn't even bring you back a pickle or anything and then they find it when they come home and then scream when they walk into the bedroom and find the papers all over.

But, since they seem to enjoy watching you do it one day each year, make the best of it. Make a big mess. Put your head down in the box and get it stuck. They especially love this one. When they give you a toy, act like it's the best toy you have ever seen. But, when they give you a bag full of something to eat, say thank you and move on, because they are going to take that food away from you about as quick as they can and put it up in the cabinet where you MIGHT get to see it when they are looking for a glass for their chocolate milk. But I digress. We're talking about pictures.

First of all, none of this:

Nobody needs to see that. Even if yours DOES look like a heart. (Well, maybe it's ok if it looks like a heart!!)

Next, look at how you are sitting:

Do you think your friends on Facebook want to see you all splayed out like that?

Next, don't move when they are taking your picture. Don't move ANYTHING:

Just look at that. It looks like I got the Vibrating Teeths!!

And lastly, but most importantly, do not be eating no lemons before they take your picture because then your mouth will do this:

and I don't care how cute you are, you will not get on no Animal Planet teevee show with half of your lips sucked into your head!

So, there you have it. A few tips from your friend Jack. Now go to bed. It's almost Christmas.

PS: And remember to comb your hair when you wake up. You don't want to end up with the bedhead in all your pictures.


  1. What would we do without woo?

    PeeEssWoo: Happy HOWLidays to woo and The TG!

  2. Wow, TG is lucky. In the first picture, it looks like he got the leg lamp from "A Christmas Story"!
    Either that, or the author of that letter to Santa came to visit! LOL

  3. Oh Jack, you made us laugh sooo hard that there was water running down M.O.M.'s face!
    She said to tell you that she would try real hard not to take any of those kinds of pictures when I get to open my present for Maggie and Mitch!
    And we hope you have a very fun and Merry Christmas.

    Hugs, Mistaya and her M.O.M. Gail

  4. Thanks for the tips, Jack! Love that last one...pucker up! Have a wonderful Christmas and we hope there are tons of presents for you under that tree!

  5. Funny post!

    Merry Christmas to both of you.

  6. Thanks for the tips. I never knew you had a heart bottom. I bet the gals love it.


  7. Jack,

    As always you make us smile!
    Merry Christmas my furiend!

    Woofs and Holiday Licks,
    Maggie Mae

  8. OMD Jack! We have no words today.....we are laughing toooo much!

    Have a very merry Christmas, and enjoy ripping up those packages !!!!

  9. Ha ha! You've got the picture taking schtick down to a science. Love the stuck jowls photo. Heart + anus = heinous

  10. Such excellent tips. We appreciate that you are always thinking of us.

  11. Oh Jack Mommy is laughin so hards she's startin to leak!!!

    Merry Christmas!!!!!

    Bobo and Meja

  12. hee hees!! 'dose are great tips!!

    Why was Mommy laufing so hard at yous faces? Yous just trying to be helpfuls..

    Wishing you a very Merry Christmassy's!!!!

    IzZY, Josie, TriXie and Anakin Man

  13. A heart? Really?

    I always love the stuck lip look!
    Happy Christmas Eve...
    Ho Ho Ho and Hugs!

  14. Tears are running down my face and it's not from crying!

  15. Jack, thanks for the tips. You're so right -- about everything, especially the treats, but I, too, digress -- my face is even cuter than my heart-butt. I'd have my mom e-mail you a picture, butt I can't find an e-mail on your bloggy. Anyhoo, Merry Christmas, Jack and TG!

    Your furiend, Ruby

  16. Dearest Jack,
    George thanks you for all this advice. And I thank you for the huge snort on that bed head link! Merry Christmas!

  17. Thanks for all the helpful tips, Jack! We wish you and the Tall Guy a very Merry Christmas!


  18. Oh my good gravy, Jack! After reading your post, I had to go wash my face. I laughed so hard, I cried. When I cried, mascara ran down my cheeks. Can't have my picture taken looking like that!

    Merry're my present!