February 4, 2014

We would walk 500 miles... 

and we would walk 500 more!

We have been doing a lot of walks since we moved.

Evidently the tall guy likes to walk more when it's not hot.

However, I found out that he does not like to 

walk when it is 10 little circles outside

and the wind is blowing.

Or if it's raining.

Or when he's trying to watch Downton Abbey.

Or when he's writing music.

Hmmm,

maybe we're not going on as many walks

as we could!

I'll have to get back to you.

January 29, 2014

We got SNOW!! 

We were inundated!

Look at all the snow.

I'll be surprised if we last the night.

AND, we did not even get to go on any walks today

because the tall guy said it was TOO COLD.

I'm telling you, he is harshing my buzz!

January 22, 2014

My AMAZING Trick!

 

TOP THAT, Lassie!!

(and no, the tall guy wasn't TRYING to throw it into the tree.

He's just not very accurate sometimes.)

* It has come to my attention that some peoples can't

see the video (like on an iPad).

So you can't see me do my triple front flip, handstand,

backwards roll, double-front, one handed

quad-twisting fliparooni.

I'm sorry.

I'll do better next time!

 

January 15, 2014

Oh the fun we had... 

We went up to the mountains on Saturday.  It was great. There were like 14 gagillion things to smell.  We had a great time.  I even got two carrots when we got back to the car.

Here I am playing hide and seek: 
 

I'm hiding behind the trees. Can you see me?

If you come visit, we can go play hide and seek together!

January 11, 2014

I got my report card!

(Sorry for being so blurry.  I was just excited.

Or the tall guy really sucks at taking pictures with his phone.  I'm not sure.)

I went to the vegetarian and got my report card.

I passed all my exams.

And, the tall guy said I was very well behaved.

That may have been because he left me

sitting in the car while he went to talk to

the vegetarian before he took me in.

They took me into the back room and asked

me a lot of questions.

I made sure that I told them that I did not smoke.

So now I'm good for another year.

The tall guy said he hopes we don't have to 

come back any time soon!

I don't know what he's so snippy.

He didn't even have to give them any money.

He just showed them a plastic card

and they let us come home.

Here's hoping you do good 

on your report card too!

 

 

January 8, 2014

OH MY GOODNESS.

LOOK!! 

It is FROZED!

This is one of my favorite water dishes

and just look at it.

It's all frozed up.

Now where will I get my water

when we're out on our walk?

Sincerely,

Thirsty Jack

January 5, 2014

In which, once again, I don't get none.

Please ignore the picture.

It has absolutely nothing to do with this sad story.

It seems, that since I do not have any monies

and I can not drive,

I do not get any say on what we get when

we go to the Hardee's

(which for those unfamiliar with fast-food

restaurants, it is one of).

The tall guy went to the Hardee's this morning

in anticipation of very cold weather coming.

He said that cold weather required

biscuits and gravy,

which evidently are something so delicious

that merely thinking about them

make you brave sub-zero temperatures

just to get them.

Notice that I said EVIDENTLY.

EVIDENTLY, biscuits and gravy are so good

that I was not allowed to have any.

Oh, I could SMELL the biscuits and gravy,

and I could watch the biscuits and gravy

being EATEN,

but I did not get to taste no biscuits and gravy.

It matters not that I got to eat some egg from

an egg biscuit while someone else was eating

the biscuits and gravies,

the important point,

and I can not stress this enough, is that

I DID NOT GET NO BISCUITS AND GRAVIES.

That's all I have to say.

 

December 30, 2013

Oh where shall I start? 

I think I'll start with the opening of my package from Spencer (from the doggy bloggy exchange):

Hmmm, this box is rather secure!!

Wow, look at all of this neat stuff!!

Maybe if I hurry, I can eat the green ball before the tall guy takes it away from me!

(Just kidding - it was squishy and I was trying to get the tall guy to take it away so he could throw it to me.)

Thank you so much for the cool presents Spencer!

I guess that's about it.

Have a great New Year's.

Wait, what?

You want to hear about the bullets?

Ok, but if I tell you, we must never speak of them again,

as I don't come off looking too well in the story.

It seems that the tall guy got a new set of 

speakers for his tv.

These speakers go in behind you so that when you watch the tv, it sounds like things are happening BEHIND YOU!

Well, he was watching a movie on the teevees

when all of a sudden,

BANG BANG!!!

 I'm lying on the floor and I hear two gunshots.

I jump up to see what's going on

and it turns out that it's just the sound

from the movie that the tall guy is watching

coming out of the speakers behind me.

He thought it was pretty funny.

Needless to say, we had a discussion afterwards.

Have a great New Years!

December 27, 2013

I've got so much to tell you.

But first,

here is a video of me

opening my first Christmas present

(with a little help). 

Can you guess what it is?

 

That's right, it's an antler. 

I liked it so much,

I took it outside right after we got all the paper off

(well except for the label which someone left on),

and forgot that I had MORE stuff to open

for like 12 hours!!

(Well it seemed like 12 hours.  It was probably more

like 5 minutes!)

The tall guy had to come remind me that

I still had a bunch of stuff to open.

I guess I'll have to write about the other presents

(including one from Spencer in the bloggy exchange)

next time.

After I tell you about the bullets!!

December 24, 2013

To each and every one of our friends...

We wish you the 

most happiest of holidays

and all the cookies you can eat.

 We'll be back in a few days to let you know

what was under the tree!!

December 20, 2013

That's ok.

I can wait.

(Later)

I snuck back in the hallway and look

what just happened to appear...

It's a Christmas miracular!!

I hope that big package is an official Red Ryder, 

carbine action, 

two-hundred shot range model air rifle! 

It's what I always wanted.

And I won't even shoot out my eye!

(MUCH LATER)

Well, guess what.

I just found out that NONE of the presents 

under the tree are for me.

Evidently, I've got a reputation

for tearing open packages

before I'm supposed to,

so the tall guy said that

the ones under the tree

weren't mine.

AND,

I'm not even getting an official Red Ryder,

carbine action, two-hundred shot range model

air rifle, regardless.

He said IF I was good between now

and Christmas,

he MIGHT be able to find a can of pinto beans in the pantry

that he could wrap up for me

and put them under the tree on December 24th.

It just gets pitiful-er and pitiful-er.

Your pinto bean friend,

Jack.

SIGH...

 

December 18, 2013

Finally...

We finally got the tree put up.  I made sure that it was sitting straight in the holder.  For some reason, the tall guy likes to put lights and all sorts of bobbily-bits on the tree.  He says it makes it look nice.  Personally (or should that be doggone-ally), I thought it looked just fine the way it was.  But evidently my opinion isn't worth much around here.

You may notice that I am not wearing my happy face.  You may also notice that there are no presents under the tree.  You may wonder if those two things are related.

I was told that Sanity Clause brings all the gifts to all the good boys next week and we would just have to wait and see IF, er... WHAT presents would be under the tree for me.

I would just sit here and wait but what you can't see in the picture is the fence that the tall guy put up to keep me out of the room with the tree when he is not here.  For some reason, he thinks I might decide to play with some of the bobbily-bits on the tree.

I think he knows me too well!

December 16, 2013

LOOK!!

That's right! 

You know what this means.

IT'S CHRISTMAS TREE TIME!!

FINALLY.

More to come...

December 10, 2013

I am sadness...

I still do not have no Christmas tree in the house yet.  The tall guy said we might get one on Sunday because he wanted to get a real tree and all the noodles would fall off if we put it in the house too early.

Therefore, I am sadness.

Maybe some extra cookies would help.

December 3, 2013

Yes please.

 

I told the tall guy that I would like

this tree for our new house.

He said it might be a skoshe too big.

We then got into a 'discussion'

about him making up words

like 'skoshe' that I had never heard of before.

I think he does it just to see if I'm paying attention.

This tree was at the place where we

go so he can get a banana and strawberry 

milkshake, except this time they didn't

have any banana ice cream so

he got banana pudding ice cream

which he said did not taste as good

as just the banana ice cream.

I think he's a skoshe bonkers:

SKBONKERSHE.

(If he can make up words,

I can too!)

 

 

December 1, 2013

Wake me up when the footballs are over...

or when it's time to eat.

It's all good.

November 25, 2013

I'm up. I'm up!!

Well, I thought I was.

It's too cold to get out of bed!

November 19, 2013

 

Can you see it?

Can you see how pitiful and sad I look?

I am the most pitifullest and sad-i-fied

puppy I know.

The tall guy won't let me play in the water.

He said last time I played in the stream,

I kept drinking the water

and got the dire rear.

I did not like having a dire rear,

so I guess I will listen to him.

This time.

So now all I can do is look at it.

A boy can dream can't he?

November 15, 2013

Now you want to hurry?

Really?

I'm not sure if you can tell,

but someone thinks it's cold outside.

Yes, that's the tall guy.

He's wearing a sweater,

his heavy coat,

his gloves,

and his funny hat with the ear flaps.

Meanwhile,

I am practically 'nekkit'

(as they say in these parts).

Of course, it took someone

25 minutes to get ready to go outside.

First he puts on his coat.

Then he puts on his gloves.

Then he puts on his hat.

Then he takes off his gloves

because he can't put on my string

when he's wearing his gloves.

Then he has to spend 10 minutes

trying to zip up his coat.

Then he puts on his gloves.

Then we head out the door.

But wait...

he can't lock the door

when he's wearing his gloves,

so he has to take off

ONE glove so he can get the keys

out of his pocket to lock the door.

THEN,

he puts back on the one glove

and we finally head out the door.

Then we go for a walk

and by the time he gets back home,

he's complaining because it's too hot.

So he has to take off his hat,

his gloves, his coat

AND his sweater.

And all this time, 

all I'm wearing is my collar.

I don't know if I'll ever figure it out!

 

November 11, 2013

A long walk with a bunch of leaves!

(and the tall guy too!)

The tall guy said he was tired of emptying boxes 

and putting stuff up,

so we went out and had a very nice walk in the woods.

 

We saw several other dogs and peoples

who had the same idea.

There were lots of neat smells

and things to see.

We even got to eat something

calls hash browns

before we went walking.

I thought they tasted just like potatoes.

They were very good.

The tall guy said it was supposed

to be 25 degrees tomorrow.

I think that's pretty cold,

although I'm not sure

how many degrees you need to be warm.

I'll let you know if I get froze.