Monday, November 8, 2010

November 8, 2010


It appears that the Sanrio company has arrested me and put me in 'Hello Kitty' prison. Something about appropriating trademarks or copyrights or some such. It's so scary! Everyone here is so happy and efficient! Even the guards are polite! And the food... they only feed us like 6 times a day, and it's stuff like fresh fish and Kobe steak. How am I supposed to eat when I only have 4 different types of cheese to choose from at each meal? I've only gained like 5 pounds since I've been here! That's like practically starving!

And the beatings. Sure, they call it a massage, but then they put these hot stones on you and you go to sleep and you don't know how long you've been asleep and it's very disorienting.

I think I have an escape plan, but I need your help.

Oh and all that stuff yesterday about everyone owing me $18 bajillion dollars, you know I was kidding. Right? I mean, us being good friends and all.

I have to go now. The pool is about to open... I mean, they are taking me to the water chamber of death!!


  1. Sounds like our federal "prisons" for the rich and famous. Real hard time, huh Jack? Say, if you see Bernie in there, tell him I want my money back!


  2. Nah, it's the Arizona Autumn heat playing trikhks on your Labradorian brain!


  3. Hmmmmmm - Fish'n Kobe steak an'u iz ONLY gittin'fed 6 TIMES per day with your CHOICE frum 4 different cheesez - personally, we don't c much of a problem with that. BUTT hey, if u don't like it then iz there anythin'we can du tu help u escape?

  4. Jack!
    Are you sure you are in a prision??
    Kisses and hugs

  5. Life is tough for an adorable canine!
    have fun in "prison" jack!

  6. Hmmm... Kitty Prison? Sam is glad he is not there!


  7. Jack, my friend, you reap what you sew or something like that.


  8. Are you sure you ain't at da spa?
    When you escape can you bring me a steak so you won't feel so tortured.


  9. Jack,

    I leave you fur 3 days and just look at all da trouble you gets yourself into. ;)

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

  10. Jack Jack Jack you are in kitty heaven and we see you are taking full advantage of all that is offered. Pace yourself on the Kobe steaks too much of a good thing can make you 'sick as a dog'!!

  11. It's all fake....!!

    Run.....Jack ....Run...!!

  12. I suppose to a spoiled kitty, that would be punishment. Just grit your teeth and try to live with it. Maybe you should consider comitting another crime so your sentence can be extended.

    Mogley G. Retriever

  13. Konichiwa Jack!
    Have you seen the beer vending machines?
    Try the Kirin...
    $18 bajillion dollars = How many Yen?

  14. Are you certain you are in jail? Sounds pretty nice, if you ask me....

  15. waterboarding at Hello Kitty? booowahahaha!

    Down with Hello Kitty! (Like WTF is it anyway? i never got it...)

  16. Are you sure your in prison Jack? If you are, I think I might break the law too and join you specially if there's a pool! Sounds Greeeaaat!!
    Casper Bear

  17. Oops - did I accidentally load Dennis' Diary of Destruction? I am Jack and I never give up.

  18. What were you doing in Japan?! Or were you, horrors, kittienapped from FL and renditioned to Japan? Rookie mistake, dude, to actually let yourself be found by the HK goons. Be sure your break-out is to someplace without an extradition treaty with Japan. You'll need to travel light, so you can trust us to keep the corporate assets safe while you're on the lam. We and the assets will be someplace safe that has no extradition treaties with anyone at all.

    Jed & Abby