Monday, December 21, 2009

December 21, 2009

What is up with
this consarned hat?

Is there a law that says that every puppy in the world has to have a picture with this hat? If so, where do I go to get it repealed? Or amended?

I propose this new law:

H. RES. Puppy1: No More Christmas Hats on Puppies/Cats/Horses/Frogs or Fish Act.
Sponsor: Jack [AZ-1] (introduced 12/21/2009) Cosponsors: All the other dogs and cats in the world
Committees: House Pet Committee
Latest Major Action: Proposed to be passed in time for all the moms and dads to come up with some other idea for next Christmas

Christmas hat -- For purposes of this law, 'Christmas hat' shall be defined as 'a silly red hat with white fuzz around the bottom and a cotton ball on top' OR ANY OTHER FESTIVE HOLIDAY head covering.

It is the purpose of this law to FORBID all moms and dads (along with any human childrens they may have produced/found at the baby pound OR relatives/friends/neighbors who drop by unannounced during the holidays) from henceforth putting the Christmas hat on/near/at/by/close to/in conjunction with/along side of OR in the vicinity of their puppy's head (or in some cases, their puppy's butt (You know who I'm talking about!!!))

If anyone is found guilty, by means of photographic proof on any blog, newsletter, or Christmas card of violating the purpose of this act, that person (or persons) shall be forced to wear said Christmas hat to somewhere really embarrassing - like to the grocery store on July 25 or to the doctor's office during their next physical when the doctor tells you to get undressed and you have to say 'I can't take off my festive Christmas hat because it's really cold in here and your stethoscope frightens me!'.

This law does NOT apply to hats, such as John Deere hats or orange hunting hats or hats showing support for your favorite sporting team. For an appropriate use of hats on puppies, please see the following:

= =
So there you have it. Please contact your member of Congress to urge quick passage of this new law. Millions of future Christmas traditions are at stake!


  1. Oh Boy! Not only am I lucky cuz Pawpa shovels a path to the park for me on snowy days, I have NEVER had a hat put on my head. Any hat..EVER!

    Chin up Jack,
    Grrrrrs from Gizzy

  2. But you look so Labr-adorable in the hat!
    Ho Ho Ho!!!

  3. Oh Jack! We know you are going to get tons of pals telling you that the hat looks great on you...and then you are going to repeal the 'no hat' movement and start a 'must wear Santa hat for photo op' law. Just thinking ahead...and we do think the hat looks as described above: labr-adorable!

    Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
    Sierra Rose

  4. Oh Thank you Jack! I am glad you broadened the definition of 'hat' and pray for speedy passage of this act. I wonder if congress will stay up all night like they did for Sciavo? I hope so because it is my only hope in keeping my Momma from posting a ridiculous photo of me that was obtained through serious bribery with pieces of lamb lung. Maybe this could be amended to state that consent can not be implied in cases where the victim was plied with treats during the offense?
    Also thanks for the tip about the snow! I knew momma was wrong because there is nothing you can't buy on the internets. She sort of balked at the price and so I am going to wait until she is asleep to see if I cant find her credit card.
    You are a great Pal Jack!

  5. I highly recommend the dog's choice for Congresspup - Turbo - . We need one of our own in DC.

  6. Jack do you have law degree? If not you should think about getting have all the legalese down perfectly. The only thing Madi will wear is her glistening fur.
    PS MOM, DAD and I LOL at your comments on our blog today. What quick wit you have!!!
    Madi and Mom

  7. My khontrakht already had that khlause in it!

    Woo do look pretty khute and festive!


  8. Yes, I do believe there is a law that says all dogs must wear that hat. And, my friend, you do look mighty fine in it!

  9. But dogs LIKE Santa hats! I know this for a fact.

  10. sure know a lot about law..hmmm,what are you doing in your spare time????

    I refuse to wear anything EVER!!! Hats look cute to the people..but ack... we hate them!

    Power to to Paw!!


    Olive :)

  11. How professional! We haven't put a hat on Darwin... yet... but I'm so very tempted to!
    We gave you an award on our blog!

  12. Oh Jack...A could they?? I don't even like wearing that "strap thing" around my neck and then they add those dangly, clanking noisey tag things too!! So I am pretty sure they will never...ever...get one of those red things on my pretty little head!! Gosh, at least I hope they won' Christmas over yet??? Hugs and wags, Mistaya

  13. Jack, wouldn't it have been easier if you had just "eaten" the printed law? I mean really, it's the oldest excuse in the world for homework, you may as well use it on law papers too. If you eat the law, it won't exsit.
    wild dingo

  14. Oh JAck, I am with ya all the way on this hat ordeal!! I am forced to wear it and HATE it, I will contact my person ASAP!!

    ON it here in IL

  15. All those in favor say I. I!!!!!!!

  16. GO JACK!!!! Although...I wish you would have thought of this law a BUNCH earlier...

    Dory would make a very good lawyer!!

  17. We're with you Jack. We do wear scarves & bandanas around our necks but we do need to draw the line somewhere. Way to go Jack. By the way, are you attending law school when you are not at the puppy park??
    Ernie & Sasha