July 31, 2009

I guess I'm just PUPular!

Yes, I'm in the middle there somewhere!

Whenever I go to the puppy park, all the puppies want to come and tell me hello. That is all we are doing, just saying hello! It does not mean anything that we are whispering to each other. We are NOT a gang. We are not planning anything. We are all the sweetest puppies you have ever seen! We, uh, uh....

OK, you caught me. We're actually talking about how we are going to go into our people's closets tonight and find their shoes and eat their shoestrings.

So, if you wake up in the morning and your shoestrings are gone, remember - the cat did it!!!

July 30, 2009

MWAH-HA-HA-HA!

Now YOU know how it feels when someone jumps on you
and starts to eat YOUR head!

July 29, 2009

I have decided that in addition to ZOMBIE PUPPIES, we also need some
(But not like THESE vampire puppies!)

So, if you would like to be one of the
please ask your person if you are a

BITE-OR

or a

BITE-EE!

On second thought, maybe ALL the puppies should be

and we could go after the squirrels
and the mean puppies who jumped on Tank!

Tell your peoples we will only be the
GOOD kind of vampires like
David Boreanaz or Stephen Moyer.

(And tell them we will be home before it gets dark
so they won't worry!)

PS. Just in case you were wondering,
I was not eating the puppy in the picture.
And if I was, he deserved it! :)

July 28, 2009

If you can't say anything nice about anybody...

come sit by me!

Here are some of the handsome puppies that I get to play with at the puppy park.
I tell the tall guy to take their picture so that they can be on my blog and get to be famous like me!

This is a very nice puppy. Even though he is pretty big, he still likes to run and play with all the other puppies. He was very good about sitting so the tall guy could take his picture. His person must be a good teacher!

This is a cool little puppy. He stays up on the picnic table in the puppy park so that all the big dogs won't step on him when they are running around (they don't always watch where they are going). He doesn't even bark a lot like some little dogs!

I think this is a dust mop :) Not really. He was just taking a break from running at the park. I think he has really pretty eyes in there somewhere!


Well, it seems that SOMEONE likes having his picture taken!

This is Anakin. I think he's going to grow up to be Darth Vader. His person didn't know what kind of puppy he was, so I told his person that he looked like the really nice kind of puppy.

So there are some of the puppies that I've met at the park. If you go to the puppy park, tell your person to take lots of pictures and put them on your blog so everyone can see who YOU get to play with!

July 27, 2009

I was just wondering...

How come you never see any movies about
ZOMBIE PUPPIES?
I would be a good zombie puppy. Eating the brains of the living and all that.

So if any movie directors out there are looking for actors for your
next zombie picture (maybe Dog of the Dead?),
just give the tall guy a call. He'll get right back to you.
Unless I've eaten his BRAINS that is!
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

(Sorry if I scared you!)

= = = = = = = = = = = = =

(Special note from the tall guy about yesterday's post:
Just wanted everyone to know that Jack can pick up his own Frisbee.
He was just pretending so that the other puppies would come and play with him!)

July 26, 2009

Would someone PLEASE help me?

Ah, there is my blue Frisbee.
The tall guy must have brought it to the park
so I could play with it. Hmmm, I can't seem to pick it up!

Would you please come help me get my Frisbee?
I'll be right over here waiting.

Well, darn. This thing must be nailed to the ground.

Would you PLEASE come help me get my Frisbee?

If you help me, we can run after it and catch it and play with it!

Oh, wait, I almost got it that time!!!

Oh, I am very sorry to bother you while you are playing
with the busted soccer ball, but would you come help me get my Frisbee?

Won't someone PLEASE come help me get my Frisbee?
Won't YOU come help me get it?

July 25, 2009

Now where have I seen this before?

Oh yeah... HERE!

I'm telling you, sometimes you just have to show Joan Collins, er..... Freddy that he can't have Blake, er.... that he should not bother you while you're trying to get a drink of water!

(Note from the tall guy: Actually they were both just rolling around in the muddy water next to the drinking area at the dog park. Linda and Joan, er..... Jack and Freddy were just playing. Why they were playing IN the water, I do not know.)

July 24, 2009

At the Spa

Here I am, getting my mani-pedi (although I guess with puppies, it's just a mani-mani, or a pedi-pedi, or a pawy-pawy). After I get done here, I'll go for my mud bath treatment, followed by a relaxing sand scrub, and then if I have time, I'll get the puppy slobber facial.

July 23, 2009

My Favorite Toys that aren't really Toys!
(Part 1 of a series)

I like plastic bottles! You can do lots of things with them - primarily chew on them until the tall guy takes them away! (With extra added bonus - playing keep away with the tall guy when he is trying to take away the bottle - HOURS of FUN for everyone!)

Someone left this bottle at the puppy park and I decided it needed to be chewed on for a bit. (Or should that be 'bite'?)

The label said 'Ocean Spray' but it didn't taste like the ocean to me. It tasted more like plastic, but then I guess 'Plastic Spray' wouldn't sell very well!

The tall guy always takes away the cap and the plastic ring around the top before he lets me chew on the bottles. I think he is saving them.

He asked me if I wanted a plastic bottle for my birthday. I don't know what a birthday is, but I see pictures of all the other puppies having a birthday and I think I should get one. Or maybe two! But I have to be careful. Evidently this birthday thing makes some peoples go crazy and try to put clothes and hats on their puppies, so it must be some kind of evil voodoo magic. But then some puppies get lots of good things to eat on their birthday. So there must be GOOD birthdays and BAD birthdays. I'll look and see if I can find one of the GOOD birthdays next time the tall guy takes me to the pet store.

July 22, 2009

SHEESH!!

Can't a guy eat his stick in peace?

July 21, 2009

Say Cheese!

The tall guy takes so many pictures of me that we USUALLY have the routine down pat. I feel like America's Next Top Dog Model. But, modeling is hard!

Here are a few tips that you can use the next time your person is taking your picture:

1) It is generally not good to move AT THE EXACT SECOND when the photographer is taking your picture. Unless of course, the photographer is taking a moving picture. Then, you need to move. Otherwise, you just look silly!


2) Do not forget that you have a tongue. You will never see Tyra Banks with HER tongue sticking out. An easy way to remember is this: Tongues are long and tongues are pink, stick out your tongue and your picture will stink!

3) Finally, my most important tip. Faces are good. Faces are important in pictures. If you can't see your face, you will not get picked to be in the toilet paper ads!

How would you like to see THIS on your next package of toilet paper? :)

So there you have it. Jack's Picture Pointers (not to be confused with pictures OF pointers!)

July 20, 2009

A Walk in the Park


Sometimes you have to 'train' your peoples to do what you want them to do. I know, they don't always listen. And sometimes, they get distracted when other peoples walk by. For some reason, they don't always understand what you're saying. So, if you need your person to be more 'bedient', do what I do. Be patient. Barking at your person doesn't do any good. When they do want you want, make sure you tell them what a good person they are. Remember, they are trying very hard - they WANT to please you. Give them lots of treats. For example, my tall guy likes Reeses Blizzards from Dairy Queen. And finally, make sure you show them how much you love them EVERY DAY! Your peoples will grow up to be happy and make YOU happy too!

July 19, 2009

Playing With Your New Fuzzy Toy!

Just look at the fuzzy toy taunting you!
That evil grin!

It has come to my attention that some of you puppies may not know how to play with your new fuzzy toys. Well, if you follow my easy instructions, you can practically guarantee that you will be getting a lot of new fuzzy toys in the future!

Step 1) Tear off the tags. Tags is evil. Tags is worse than squirrels. (By the way, this goes for all tags - tags on pillows, tags on underwears, or tags on expensive leather couches. Tags MUST BE DESTROYED!)

2) Tear off any strings on your new fuzzy toys. Strings do not belong on your toys. Strings are for cats who are more easily entertained than us puppies!

3) Tear off any ears, legs, tails or any other extraneous parts of the new fuzzy toy. Fuzzy toys do not need ears or noses. Make sure you chew them up really well. You should chew them until your person says 'Would you please stop leaving those pieces of disgusting junk all over the floor?'. If you are really good, you can hide a few of the pieces around the house for your person to find over the next few weeks. They really like it when you do that!

4) Now comes the fun part. All of your new fuzzy toys are filled with fuzz (DUH!!). You will be AMAZED at how much fuzz is on the inside of your new fuzzy toy. There is so much fuzz that you can leave fuzz all over the living room AND the kitchen AND the bedroom and still have more fuzz left. (But do not eat the fuzz, cause it doesn't taste all that good.) Make sure you pull out as much fuzz as you can. You will know when you have pulled out enough fuzz when your person screams and takes away your new fuzzy toy and puts it in the kitchen cabinet high up on a shelf where you can't reach it.

NOTE: It is really good if you can do steps 1 - 4 in the first 10 minutes after you get your new fuzzy toy. After all, you shouldn't be expected to play with the same toy day after day!

5) Your person will feel guilty because they bought you a fuzzy toy that is now broken, so then they will take you back to the PetSmart and get you a new fuzzy toy!

So there you have it - Fuzzy Toy 101. And if your person asks you why you are destroying your new toy, tell them that Jack told you it was ok.

Next week: How to destroy an indestructible Big Chew Nylabone in less than 5 minutes!

July 18, 2009

Little Puppies on the Hillside..

Here we are practicing our 'tails UP!' lesson for the day. You will find that if you do 20 'tailups' every day, you will be ready to do the 'Happy Dog, Waggy Tail' dance when you want everyone to know how happy you are (not to be confused with the 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' dance, which is evidently only performed when you want to get rid of the Emperor of China).

Unfortunately, some puppies can get something called a Limber Tail, which I did not even know existed! (I hope poor Tuc is feeling better!) If I got Limber Tail, I guess I'd be a Limber Jack. I think someone even wrote a song about me! (Note from the Tall Guy: If you laugh, you'll only encourage him!)

July 17, 2009

The FITE!!!



Boy, that looks awful doesn't it? Two puppies biting and scratching and chewing and beating the tar out of each other! Well, let me tell you, it's FUN!! (most of the time). By the way, we weren't REALLY fighting - we were just playing.

Some puppies know that when you play, you should NOT really try to hurt each other. Those are the good puppies. Some puppies haven't learned to play nicely yet. The tall guy says I must have had a good mother and father, because I try to play nicely with all the puppies - even the ones who haven't learned good manners yet!

July 16, 2009

Watching My Soaps!

Does your person let you watch the TVs? The tall guy doesn't mind if I do, especially if it is a show about puppies. He thinks it's funny the way I try to figure out what is happening. BUT, he will not let me use the remote. (It may be because I tried to eat it one time when he was gone to the store. Or it may be that he's a remote hog.)

We were watching Unleashed: A Dog-umentary the other day and about halfway thru, the tall guy turned it off. It is mostly about some puppies in California who have a puppy parade each year. They get to wear costumes and everything. That part was really good. But then, there are a lot of really sad parts in it, so we had to stop watching it. I don't like it when the tall guy gets sad. I can fix that! I've learned that he REALLY doesn't like it when I lick his ear, so I did it and he forgets that he is sad. He also forgets that he tastes good, so I have to lick him to remind him!

So next time you're sitting home alone when your peoples have gone to the store, turn on the TVs. It's the big button that says "NO" on the remote. They will be really surprised when they get home! (Just make sure you're not on Channel 599!)

July 15, 2009

All Alone!

When we got to the puppy park yesterday, there were no other puppies there. I was the only one, so I had the entire park to myself. (It had just stopped raining, so that may have been why!) I got to go to the side where all the small puppies play. I had never been there before (for some reason, all the small puppies seem to think they are too good to hang out with the big puppies). There were a bunch of new smells and the tall guy liked it because there were no beans that I could eat!

Here I am with my True Blood eyes (I have no idea what this means - I think it's from some TV show the tall guy watches. He told me I would understand when I got older!)

There may not have been any beans, but there was a cool stick that I found to chew on. The tall guy doesn't think I should eat sticks either. There seems to be a lot of stuff at the puppy park that I'm not supposed to eat! And next time you see the tall guy, please tell him to wait until I'm sitting properly before he takes my picture!

Finally, some other puppies came to the park, so I got to play with them before we had to go home so the tall guy could eat. So, now you see how it is - when I try to eat, I get fussed at, but when it's time for the tall guy to eat, it's Katie bar the door!

Until tomorrow, your obedient puppy...